We are an unsigned grunge band technically from Sarff Londun (South London), which is for all those who didn't know, in England, U.K.
If you didn't know that, please leave, unless you have a lot of money, in which case we'll be happy to waive stupidity in order for
any money you'd like to donate.
When I say technically, this is because we are in a London Borough, 14+ miles away from the centre of London. Which is a lot nearer than
people from Birmingham, admittedly, but we are all children of the suburbs, apart from Liam, who lives on a farm.
We don't pretend to come from the Orpington ghettoes, mainly because we aren't and because we're not rappers.
None of us have a criminal record so far.
We are not related in anyway at all. Just making sure you didn't think we were Hanson or something.
It is a fact that we are all weird, although this probably doesn't surprise you because you read the front page.
I wouldn't blame you for running a long way away, but please dont because we've "got sumthin' to saaay...yeah, Craig David, in the
electric chair...yeaaaaah...oh yeah..."
So this site is about us and about our music. And anything that pops into my head while I'm typing...I get to make stuff up...yay!
So who is who then? And what do you think you're doing with guitars and stuff?
Rob Sear (photo below.):It's probably really impolite to introduce myself first, but since I'm the
only one who knows how to do this bit, I deserve it. What do I do for the band? Hah! I'm a rhythm guitarist, supposedly
and I write songs and lyrics and stuff. I intend to take over the world, possibly with the help of Liam, whom I will
jetison as soon as I am in control of our brilliant communist government.
Snack of preference: Spicy Pork Slice
Favourite Song Ever: Everlong, Foo Fighters
Distinguishing Features/Talents: Long floppy blond hair. Looks like a poof. Looks like a sixties/seventies throwback. Saying stupid things within earshot of the general public. Obtaining odd looks because of this. Apparent inability to shave.
Hey, I actually look kinda cool here!
And now, Rob's latest obsession...if you want a peak into my insanity, stroll on in...
Obsession...
Liam Hamblin: Drummer, guy who owns the practice room, supreme being, complete drunkard and fellow anti-capitalist campaigner.
This boy is the fastest and best drummer in the entire world,
and is determined to beat me in everything I do, especially the little things at the end of the song...
He also intends to take over the world with the help of me, whom he intends to jetison as soon as he is in control
of our brilliant communist government...hmmmm.
Snack of preference: Pot Noodle (Chicken Curry flavour)
Favourite Song Ever: Everlong, Foo Fighters (It's nice we agree on something between us isn't it)
Distinguishing Features/Talents: Good at swallowing tongue-piercings (only his own, as yet, but hey, it's only a matter of time...)Also insists on putting really big safety pins through his tongue. Ability to down a pint of vodka without immediate death.
Special Attack: Super-Coopers-Pikey-Accent, Tongue lashing/Waxed-hair Ruffle
"Welcome to my cave, ladies..."
Sadly we have no completely separate pics of the lovely Babs yet, mainly because I'm lazy. There will be some soon, as well as more pics of the best looking one in the band up on the gallery page as soon as I can scan them in. Babs Field: Lead vocals, in a really cool strange way that no-one can get out of their heads...dude...! A newcomer with decided amounts of what is politely referred to as "attitude", Babs enjoys horses, chocolates and long walks in the countryside or by the beach...hmm, doesn't sound right. Shiny in every way.
Snack of Preference: Satsumas or other small orange-like fruits.
Distinguishing Features/Talents: She has two tattoos I'm aware of. Really good singer. Obviously. Nothing less than the best.
Favourtie Song Ever: Heard it Through The Grapevine, Marvin Gaye ("What? It's a really good song!" - I didn't even say anything, dear...)
Special Attack: Lacerating Remark/Cutting Jibe Combo.
Who's the guy next to you, Babsy baby?
Peter Benfield: Mr Smoooooth (see photo)
Lead guitarist of unsurpassed brilliance. He's grade "brilliant" on Trumpet and Piano too, so he knows real music.
Which is a shame really, seeing as that's not strictly what we do. I'm struggling to elaborate here, since as previously mentioned, Pete tends
not to have opinions on anything. Apart from Pot Noodles, Sex and Wanking. He likes Pot Noodles. The yellow ones.
Snack of preference: Err...Pot Noodles
Favourite Song Ever: "Uh...dunno." Pot Noodle, probably. It is worth mentioning here that Pete's suggestions for band names include such gems as "The Sex Idols", "Wank King" and "Beautiful Women Come And Fuck Me Now"
Distinguishing Features/Talent: Most excellent and radical hair-styling for maximum coolness in any given situation. He has a Seven-foot Penis, a four-foot penis and, rumour has it a third penis of indeterminate length. Many view this as possibly his actual penis, but we're not sure.
Special Attack: One-off-the-wrist, the Superman Wank, Super-bendy guitar solo. Pete looking like the stud he IS
Poor Pete has the burden of being good-looking and talented, something which the rest of us obviously pity him for constantly, and makes up for his usual lack of opinion.
It can be safely said that Pete does however have an opinion on desktop wallpapers, and this is one of his favourites. Pete asked me to make it known that it is the guitars he's interested in, not the semi-naked women. Pete's Opinion...
Robert Wallace (photo to come)
Bassist, backing vocals and proper music maestro. He knows his stuff
this lad, especially how to scare people into
submission with his Hannibal Lecter look. His aim is to
make sure we don't suddenly become punk.
Mr Craig thinks he has a brilliant voice, and so do we. He also owns most
of the stuff we need to make our
particularly eclectic brand of noise, plus is the only one with an actual
real life job he regularly attends. Also writes the meanest basslines I've ever heard, the songs really wouldn't be the same without him. Rob we think you're great.
Snack of preference: Cheese and Ham slice. Or liver with fava beans and
a nice chianti
Favourite Song Ever: Wait and Bleed by Slipknot (As you can see we "suffer" from a wide range of tastes. None of the entries under this category are jokes. Sadly.)
Distinguishing Features/Talents: Startling ginger hair, pointy sideburns and occassional pointy beard. Spectacular ability to shred vocal chords in around 3 minutes.
Special Attack: Death Stare or rapid combination of martial arts moves resulting in excrutiating death.
